


But Not For Me

by the_madame21



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Drabble, Falling In Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 09:19:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16784095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_madame21/pseuds/the_madame21
Summary: Kuroo Tetsurou has never been lucky in love. But that doesn't stop him from trying.





	But Not For Me

He always jumped in headfirst. Gave too much too soon. Wore his heart on his sleeve. Left himself open to be shot by arrows over and over again. 

And with each and every time, it was like he never learned. 

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Kuroo Tetsurou had learned quite a lot throughout the mess of his failed attempts at love. 

For instance, there was the fact that quiet women are the absolute loudest when they’re angry, but quiet boys cry silently. He’d also learned that being a gentleman is not always enough to keep a relationship going. There were a lot of different dynamics to consider, more depth that surpassed just being amicable. There were habits, memories, just all sorts of _things_ that maybe had nothing to do with him, that had happened before him, that just simply couldn’t be helped.

Not everyone enjoys cuddling on a rainy day. 

Matching mugs are not enough to stop your partner from cheating on you. 

Good morning kisses fade over time, depending on the person. He prefers that over a forced greeting, though. 

He also has a preference for men, funnily enough. One of the other many things he’d learned about himself along the way. 

Girls had their merits too, of course. But man or woman it didn’t matter. Not when all of his relationships had failed so miserably. And they had all been such different strings of people that the only common point was Kuroo. 

So the only thing that could be wrong, Kuroo reasoned, was himself. 

Maybe he just wasn’t cut out for this sort of thing. 

He wanted to be. 

Trying too hard, that’s what his friends said. Every new partner he got, he drowned in affection. Like a child who unknowingly suffocates a kitten by hugging it too hard. 

His way of loving was depressing, that’s what his most recent partner had told him. That he loved for his own self-satisfaction. That he had never loved anyone at all. That he was the loneliest person she’d ever met. 

Kuroo wasn’t sure how much of that was true. All he knew was that his current situation certainly was depressing. Was that enough reason for him to cheat on him, though? 

He didn’t know. Didn’t know anything. Which was probably why he was roaming around the empty streets of Tokyo, watching as the taxis silently zoomed by, hoping to catch the unlucky few that didn’t manage to make it onto the last train. He’d probably have to end up taking one home. It wasn’t exactly that he was unsure as to where he was, he just didn’t really know. 

Which wasn’t exactly the same thing. 

In any case, when things got like this, he always ended up in this situation. Taking the train as far as it would take him, making a transfer, then another, and another, going in a strange kind of circle, somehow always ending up in this part of the city that wasn’t familiar, but wasn’t unfamiliar either. 

If he were to come across it in broad daylight, however, he couldn’t say with confidence that he’d recognize it. 

It’s not like he was there to take in the sights. 

No, Kuroo had a routine to follow. It was his only form of closure. He wasn’t sure exactly when it had started, but after every breakup he’d go an eat tempura from the shop by his apartment, before getting rid of anything he had that might remind him of his lover. He was quick about it, because he was always really bad about reminiscing. 

He’d learned that too. The hard way. Had ended up as nothing more than a pile of tears on his kitchen floor the first few times, clutching onto a forgotten t-shirt or a crumpled picture from a cheap photo booth.

That didn’t happen anymore, though. He’d learned a few tricks along the way. 

For example, it hurt a lot less to just imagine his partner as having moved away. Which is why he was packaging up certain things in boxes and sending it away. The made-up scenario always saved him a world of heartache. Once everything was packed away he always put it downstairs for someone else to worry about picking up. He never delivered anything himself anymore. It drew out the process longer than necessary. 

Then he’d pick up a strawberry parfait that he’d finish while waiting for the train to arrive. 

He’d always liked strawberries. They tasted like summer. And he liked summer. So it always managed to lift his spirits, even if it was in an incredibly soft-nudge kind of way. 

And then he’d end up here. Somehow. Wherever _here_ was, that is.

The wind stung his skin, reminding him that it was indeed nearing fall. He should’ve brought a jacket. A simple long sleeve wasn’t really going to cut it. But there wasn’t much he could do about it now. 

Better find a taxi soon, he thought. No point in being cold _and_ miserable. 

Another taxi zoomed by him, and Kuroo reached out to wave it down, but as it slowed to a stop, Kuroo realized it hadn’t stopped for him, instead for a couple of guys in business suits up ahead. 

Maybe he could bum a ride with them. 

Not likely, considering the distance. Even if he called out it’d probably come off more as creepy than anything else. 

Kuroo watched as one of them got into the taxi, but the other one didn’t. He seemed to be communicating something to the driver, and then closed the door, the taxi taking off. 

Maybe they lived in different directions. 

He was coming up now on the businessman that’d been left behind, offering him a friendly greeting. 

“Waiting for a cab?” 

The glare Kuroo received was a sharp one, despite the fact that it was hidden behind a pair of glasses. Even still, there was something about it that was beautiful. With such honey-brown eyes and naturally blonde hair—it wasn’t something Kuroo had ever really seen before. 

“That much should be obvious,” the businessman replied curtly, checking his watch. 

“Didn’t live near your co-worker?” Kuroo pried, if only to be granted a few more moments to look at the stranger. 

“He was drunk,” came yet another curt reply, the businessman now pulling out his phone, “I’d rather pay for two cabs.” 

Kuroo laughed at that, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Been there. Where you headed, by the way? Maybe we could split the fare.” 

The blonde looked him up and down, before returning his attention to his phone. “I’ll pass.” 

Kuroo scoffed, nodding his head, “Not a fan of strangers, I take it?” 

“That’s not it,” the businessman shrugged, “I’m simply not fond of stray cats.” 

Ruffling up his hair, Kuroo gave a slight pout, “I know my hair’s a bit of a mess but—a cat?” 

Placing his phone over his lips so as to hide his smile, the businessman raised his brow tauntingly, a sadistic sort of gleam flashing in his eyes, “You’re such a neko it’s almost painful to look at you.” 

Kuroo’s eyes widened, “A neko—“

Another taxi pulled up, just then, the blonde sidestepping Kuroo elegantly, in a movement so smooth Kuroo almost didn’t feel him press a business card into his palm. 

“If you’re interested in a collar,” those golden eyes were burning, heating up Kuroo’s cheeks with the flawless wink the blonde had managed, “Call me.” 

Before Kuroo had a chance to register anything, the door closed and the cab began to drive away, leaving him dumbfounded, with the thin piece of paper in his fingers. The wind threatened to pull it from his grasp, but Kuroo held on tight, thoughts whirling in his head. 

_Tsukishima Kei,_ huh? 

Maybe he could try this love thing just one more time.

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this a while ago but forgot to post it here! Comments are appreciated as always ^^


End file.
